Hosting Conversations about Questions that Matter
Questions that matter
key issues we have to consider on wc, is how do we see the "other"? As the world is becoming a global village , differences should dissolve .Unfortunately people are becoming more prejudiced and fixed minded and not accepting the other. We need to be colour blind (as Dubois puts it) race blind , sex blind, religeon blind.
Replies to This Conversation
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Permalink Reply by Janaka Peiris on -
This is a topic I have been searching for... I call this with a slightly different topic:
Differences, Seperations and Conflicts
I have seen many real-life examples of conflicts, caused by way we think comparing the differences we continue to take forward with us. I see them as simply "labels" that we have attached ourselves or attached to us by others. Before going forward, I would like to analyze this into several sections:
What is the problem here
We see mainly the wars between nations, or terrorism caused by separatist groups as popular examples for conflicts between 2 parties. But it goes down to all the levels in our daily life as well. For eg, 2 kids having a fight because the other kid is different in skin color.
Reason for Conflicts
From the day we we born, we were given "labels". It is said we belong to a certain race, and we belong to a certain religion etc. Some are based on visible characteristics such as skin color. Day by day, more labels are attached to us(intentionally or not), by the way we behave or the way others see us. As I see it is natural to belong to groups, based on some similarities. As I think what causes the conflict is, when we try to assume that we belong to a higher level "label" than the "others", and thus assume the "others" should not have or be treated the same as we do.
On the other hand, some acts such as supporting a sports team(eg: we are fans of "Chicago Bulls" team) would in fact make it a better experience, and might even bring up a team spirit, if what we chose to do, does not become violent or do any harm to the "other" groups.
Do we need to remove the "differences" we have ?
Some differences are apparent, and cannot be denied. (eg: the skin color, white/black etc). And there are other type of differences that are labels we call ourselves which can be withdrawn if we want (eg: the race we belong to, religion we follow etc). Since its a natural tendency to group ourselves with similarities and when we realize the cause is really not just being a part of different "labels", I do not think we should try to remove these differences we have.
What could be a "practical" solution ?
I think, it is the importance or the comparative positioning we give "our group" among others, is what causes the conflicts between us. If we assume we are placed at a lower level, we try to make conflicts with the groups that we assume to be of higher levels (ie. creating an Inferiority/Superiority complex). If we can "respect" each other, and in see them as "humans" just like us, we will realize how foolish we have been by separating us with unwanted "labels".
Well, this is the one I would mainly like to hear from you. (Actually what I have written above para is actually what i would like to see in the end, and not a solution indeed.)
Please reply with your ideas...
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Permalink Reply by etedal ali on -
Very interesting analysis. You are absolutely right ,, the idea is not to try to remove differences between people because these differences are what makes us special . Diversity is healthy. The thing is we should try to accept others as they are.and make use of and learn from what they have and we don't. It's a two way thing.. in this way we dissolve 'boundaries' while maintaining our identities. Like now,we are communicating in English and through a computer without knowledge of where we are from.
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Permalink Reply by Gavin Sealey on -
You are correct is seeing 'differences, separation and conflicts' as at the heart of questions that matter.
In Star Trek (The Original Series) there is a fictional Vulcan Philosophy celebrating 'Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination. This is the IDIC concept. I'm using the same acronym and premise in exploring questions of Identity, Diversity, Inclusion and Community in the very multicultural community in which I work with young people. My thoughts on this:
Identity: We are multidimensional beings, that is, our identities are multidimensional. Ethnicity, physicality, personal history, sexuality, personality, gender, ethos, and more identify us but beyond this is our transpersonal identity with the One, with God. It is important to be aware of our identities and our Identity.
Diversity: Some people find it difficult to permit diversity. Most people seem wedded to the idea that their way of seeing the world and their way of being is superior so they put down others explicitly or subtly for being a different colour or sexuality or religion or whatever. This seems very very silly once you understand that the individual is an expression of the totality .. or if you like an expression of God.
Inclusion: To include others is to show compassion, it is to recognise them as an expression of God and at the same time to cherish their individuality. Sometimes others are (and this is a metaphor) vibrating at a different speed so we do not see them it is as though they are in a different dimension. But when we are in our God-self we see everyone, whatever dimension they are in. The more we are in our God-self the more inclusive we are; conversely the more inclusive we are the more in or God-self we are.
Community: Real, sustainable and supportive community must be based on respect for the diversity of individual identities, recognition of our essential Oneness and commitment to including all in our circle of compassion.
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Permalink Reply by Gavin Sealey on
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Is a commitment to pacifism and social justice a necessary condition for personal evolution and evolution as a species?
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Permalink Reply by Debra Debozy on -
Thank you for introducing such a thought provoking topic. In a conversation I had several years ago with a dear friend of mine, I remember bringing up the idea of being taught from birth how to "label" and how to "separate through labeling". I used the example of showing a baby a ball, "see the ball, see the red ball, see the big red ball", etc. What interested me about this was the lack of attention to "the space around the ball" or "the space occupied by the ball". I bring this up because, with practice, I've come to intentionally take note of the space being occupied by "whatever" or "whoever". This is my understanding of how the wc functions as well. Ideas flow from individuals and come to occupy the space in the room. These ideas are then free to blend with other ideas and become what they were not initially. Then the magic happens. The process involves freeing what WAS in order to manifest the unfoldment of what WILL BE. The space in between, the space of pure potential, is what IS. So my answer to the question, "how do we see the other?" is "with practice, we see the other as part of pure potential".
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Permalink Reply by Janaka Peiris on
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Well, interesting replies indeed ! Looking at the analisis and ideas I get the feeling that most of us share these in common:
> Identify and accept differences
> need of respecting the other with differences, without comparing the differences and making them / us feel lower/higher with regard to it.
Still my questions is, how do we make the majority of people understand this ? To be honest, even we are not 100% respecting the others or completely ignoring the 'labels' we carry.
I think this can be done best, by gradually educating a child from lower age with examples. So what about the adult generation ? Do you know any practical examples of getting this idea to reach them as well ? Without educating the adult, I doubt it would be difficult to try to educate the child, as eventually the adult is the one who is educating or guiding the child in most cases.
Share Real Life Experiences
I strongly think this can be done by sharing the real life experiences, where we understood how these 'labels' has fooled in the end. So it is upto the reader to understand how it can relate to them too. One great example i found is at http://theforgivenessproject.org.uk/stories/ , which is mainly about forgiving others unconditionally.
Eg: In Sri Lanka where the racial conflict has been there for more than 30 years, I too, was naturally biased towards supporting the 'majority' race which i 'belonged' too. Later one day, I got to know from my father that a part of our family name which had some connection with a 'minority' race, and it has been removed to avoid possible conflicts later.
Then when I thought about it later on, I realized I could have been on the 'other side' of the conflict, the minority. Then gradually I could see the problems from their point of view too, and understand them at least to some extent. I realized how the 'racial label' has fooled me.
Try to 'SEE' through the other's eyes
This again can be related to the above real life story too, by describing how the 'other person' (or the party being considered lower due to differences) saw and experienced the situation. (see the last para from above example)
My idea of giving personal experiences is to make this topic more reachable to the reader, so that they will 'feel' it and that could make themselves think and change.
Hoping to see more practical ideas flowing...
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Permalink Reply by Debra Debozy on
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http://www.care2.com/greenliving/healing-with-the-space-between.html
This was posted on the Soular Energy site the day following my post on here. It can never hurt to gently call another's attention and awareness to the space that encompasses the situation. One must ask, "Where does the conflict exist and can you point it out to me?"
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Permalink Reply by Oren Robinson on -
Very interesting thoughts. I tend to associate prejudice with assumptions, and I certainly make some assumptions to make my life easier, and likewise have some prejudices. Please hear me out.
We can assume when you drop a ball it will fall towards the earth. We have each made this mostly unconscious assumption because we have observed it 99.99999% of the time, and life would take much more mental effort if we didn't rely on predictions like this.
Likewise, we label people to make our lives easier, chopping the world into chunks to make it easier to understand and make decisions accordingly. For example if I am out walking city streets late at night by myself and come across a group of people I will assess them for certain criteria that in my experience coincides with risk to myself. This includes their age, body language, sex, and yes- race.
I consider myself very open-minded to finding out who people really are regardless of criteria like these- but sometimes I don't have time to find out and so I will act with prejudice. Does that make me racist? I certainly don't feel like one- I take pride in the fact that I see good in all people.
I'd like to make a distinction between making personal-experience-based assumptions like this example and assumptions which are passed on, which I think are a completely different kettle of fish, and much more difficult to shake. In some ways these are necessary, such as when your parent tells you not to touch something because it will burn you. It can be vitally important to follow such guidance without question. Often though, stereotypes are heirlooms of a more backward time. Children are particularly perceptible to being influenced because they learn things in such a way that they don't question, and won't change their minds when confronted with contrary evidence. In his most recent book Richard Dawkins stresses that it is not fair to children to indoctrinate them in matters of religion- certainly teaching them is ok but letting them know they have a choice is essential to good parenting. He goes on to say that it is even more important for children not be labeled with religions until they are old enough to decide for themselves. The idea of a "muslim child", or a "christian child" seems quite inappropriate when they are too young to think about such things.
How do we deal with these prejudices then; the ones we make ourselves and the ones that are passed on? I believe we have a duty to look for opportunities to question them and weigh them against our own experiences. By this I mean to regularly suspend your voice of judgement, opening your mind and heart to people of different cultures and creeds the same way you would around a World Cafe table. Try to put yourself in their skin and understand the place they operate from. This won't necessarily remove all prejudices (which I don't feel are inherently wrong to have) but will certainly make them more accurate. We also have a duty to be careful with how we word the guidance we give our children, or as Dawkins would say, teach them how to think rather than what to think.
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