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What are your sacred questions?
Why do you ask them?
How do they evolve?

When I left my home and my family for college, there was one question that I held with me day in and day out: 'What is the good life?' I would ask myself this at night before going to bed, and think about it at odd times. It was my sacred question at that time in my life.

It evolved throughout college to be 'What is the good life and how will I lead it?' and later 'What is the good life, how will I lead it, and how might I extend access to a good life for others, however they define their good life?'

And now I have been thinking about 'Why do I want to live a good life, and why do I care about this inquiry?'

I told this story at a recent Multi-Generational Collaboration Cafe in Berkeley and it seemed to strike a chord with folks -- that I had sacred questions. That they evolve.

Another question that was suggested to me by a mentor at the UCSC Farm and Garden Apprenticeship Program is 'What did I learn about myself today as a gardener.' I have filled journals on that one, and drifted to sleep contemplating the infinite newness of dahlias, grafting, the fruit set of cherries, and my humble beginnings as an host of learning journeys in ecological horticulture.

I wonder...
What are your sacred questions?
Why do you ask them?
How do they evolve?

Love, Dave

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Replies to This Conversation

My sacred question is "What gives life meaning?" This is a more foundational question than What is the meaning of life? or What is the meaning of my life? I am inspired by Viktor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning." From him I've come to realize that the search for meaning is ultimately the primary motivation in a person's life, and this meaning is unique and specific to each individual. It differs not only from person to person, but from day to day, from hour to hour, from moment to moment. Meaning is defined by how we respond to each situation life presents to us. It is not for us to expect life to give us meaning, but for us to give life meaning by the choices we make in each moment. Perhaps I'm drawn to this question because I'm entering my 60s and suddenly realize that I've been sleepwalking through most of my life; or perhaps it's because my mother is in advanced stages of Alzheimer's disease and for several years now my 88-year-old father whose been married for 63 years has been devoting 24 hours a day to caring for her in their home. What gives his life meaning? Perhaps it is the moment to moment devotion to his beloved's care.

"What give life meaning?" may be a good core question for a Cafe.
Hi Tom, I have a great appreciation for your question and your story. Thank you for sharing.

My grandmother died three days ago. Without knowing I was up all night the night before and woke up early in the morning the morning of. When I found out I knew that her spirit was with me during those waking hours.

I've found your statement to be true: "[It is] for us to give life meaning by the choices we make in each moment." I'll be 28 next month and have been told this throughout my life by my elders and mentors. Somehow I forget this from time to time, and get momentarily lost in a sea of sleepwalkers and negative thinkers and actors. That is not my true nature, or any of ours, I believe. When I re-emerge I remember. Aha! I'm loving and zestful, and what gives my life meaning is the art and practice of loving, with full exuberance and joy for living.

Right now I'm reading Stephen Levine's book "Meetings at the Edge: Dialogues with the grieving, and the dying, the healing and the healed," and it is reminding me of so many lessons I've learned or been taught about how to live a meaningful and good life, to not sleepwalk until I awaken as I am on my deathbed or when someone I love dies and to be awake through life, and to live in love and not in fear. This gives my life meaning right now: compassionately communicating my feelings and needs as they arise, not bottling them up or casting them aside until they are so pressing they have to burst out, or 'armoring the heart,' rather attending to them as they arise and breathing into them. Yes!

I'm looking forward to hearing more on this thread as it arises. And now, a poem.

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.


~Rumi
Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

R.M. Rilke
What are my sacred questions? Now there's a good question! I'm not sure about the answer for me, but that doesn't bother me. What I've gotten more interested in is the simple act of asking questions - when I ask myself... when others ask me.... when I ask others.... Best of all when we figure out some of the questions together.

I think our culture runs too quickly toward finding answers without resting in the unknowing first. When I spend time, either alone or with others, trying just to articulate the questions, I feel a great sense of relief. Like I've learned so much regardless of whether my question is answered just by being able to articulate it.

We held a World Cafe recently with the question "What question, if answered, would make the biggest difference for you and your family?" This was with a group of families who have children with disabilities. Amazing conversations....
I just came across a 'sacred question' (one that we may ask ourselves over and over again, without needing the answer necessarily) that deeply resonated with me. May it be of use for you too --


"At the end of my life - what are the things that I do not want to have done too little?" - Elke

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