Hosting Conversations about Questions that Matter
Resistance is what we experience when we’re getting ready to do something that goes beyond what we know, expect or find familiar. It’s the thing that makes us have bad hair days, get paper cuts, drop the coffee, run late or lose the phone when we’re about to make big change. The ironic thing about it is that resistance shows up even when we actually want the change to happen.
One of the most apt descriptions I’ve found in working with my clients to overcome their resistance is to have them think about getting in the car to drive somewhere. I ask them if they actually get in the vehicle when they want to go somewhere. Naturally, they think I’m crazy and say yes, of course. I point out that they don’t know what they’re going to encounter along the way… they might discover a boulder in the road, a detour, an accident or a tree across the road. Does that sway them from getting in the car? And they say no, they would get in and go anyway.
Which leads me to my next question for them… why would they get into a vehicle that is thousands of pounds and could be quite dangerous for themselves and others if they don’t know what they will encounter in the physical world as they drive it? Now they’re really confused. Until I point out that it’s their natural resilience, their trust in their ability to handle what comes up as they drive. And that’s the key teaching here.
What are you not trusting yourself about, so much so that you’re not willing to go beyond where you’ve already been? Where are you holding yourself back from growing just because you don’t know what you might find? What detours do you believe yourself incapable of handling in life? When is the last time you learned that you could handle something new? And what does that mean for you now in thinking about new opportunities that are presenting to you daily?
Resistance is a message that you are about to grow beyond your comfort zone. And resilience is knowing that you can handle whatever comes up. It’s nearly impossible to not grow when you see that having the quality of resilience is natural in many parts of your life already. Now use it to handle your resistance and grow to your next best level.