problems need help

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Permalink Reply by Janaka Peiris on September 6, 2010 at 6:32pm

Hi Etedal,

It seems like you have spent more time with your father right throughout your lifetime, and its not something many children would do when they get older. Most of us simply get busy with our own lifestyles and forget to spend time with our parents, hoping that they will be there everyday. But all of a sudden we lose our loved ones, and then only we feel the guilt of not doing our part by giving back what they deserved. Have you noticed the children who just ask their parents to leave the house or put themselves in 'elderly care centers' when they get older, forgetting all what the parents have done to them ? Yes, the society is even as cruel as that. There was a story of a millionaire here whose mother is said to be chased out of him home and had to live in a small cottage. Comparing to them you are nowhere near that and you can be proud of yourself for the way you treated him.

In your case, i'm sure you talking to your father daily for hours is something really special you did for him. And he must have been very fortunate to have a daughter like you. Yes, you might feel lonely with his absence, but remember you are feeling it because you had a special connection with him as a child, which he must have loved too. The memories and the way you treated him should be enough to get rid of the regrets and loneliness. Show love to your loved ones, you never know when you or they might leave this world !

- Janaka

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Permalink Reply by Kathleen Quinn on September 26, 2010 at 1:33pm

Keep right on speaking with your father every day. And then pass the tradition forward by cultivating the same conversation with another young person--your daughter, a niece, nephew or whomever. The hole in your heart that is the loss of your father doesn't go away but it does fill in with beautiful memories.

Be Well, Kathleen

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