From Seattle - December's Conversation Salon

I have been hosting monthly "Conversations That Matter" in Seattle neighborhoods since September 2009. I like that the World Cafe format is a gentle way of encouraging community involvement; I hope it will eventually become a habit!

Inspired by Meg Wheatley's book "Turning to One Another", I chose the topic of the December conversation salon as "Bearing witness - what are we willing to notice?"; when faced with images and news of human suffering - do we feel helpless and overwhelmed, or do we attempt to "be the change"?

I posted three 'questions for consideration' previously, and each question became the introduction to the three rounds of conversation (this format resulted from polling members):

1) Are you overwhelmed by the enormity of the problems that are beyond your circle of influence? How do you react?

2) How can we live with that which we cannot change? Do different generations cope differently?

3) Is there a benefit to “bearing witness”, to being able to just ‘be’ with human suffering?

Most of us vowed to take one action in the next month that would support being 'part of the change'. My action is to distribute this feedback to a wider group of people than those who attended, in the hopes that reading the outcomes will inspire others to also commit to taking one action in the next month. Here are the outcomes:

There was an overwhelming desire to be part of the solution. How?
- Be an example
- Take action, even if it’s only making others aware of the issue – talk about your passion and concern; when meeting resistance from others, talk about why things need to be different
- Work with an organization that can have impact
- Practice kindness close to home – our own neighborhoods and communities; model goodness and kindness
- Use positive initiatives that have an impact around the world (e.g. peace and reconciliation, S. Africa) as an example for making change locally
- “When I do things, I want to make sure I’m not just trying to make myself feel better, but am helping the problem”

How to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of problems and issues:
- “Be mindful of what I do, and not feel guilty about what I can’t do” (mindfulness allows consideration of our actions without paralysis and denial); rather than feel guilty about what you don’t do, it’s good to feel good about what you do do
- We have a responsibility to be happy – being happy provides more energy, which enables us to do more
- (from an MD) Humans can’t physically cope with the global nature of problems because the brain is not physically able to process things on this scale; if it’s broken down into smaller parts, the brain can then process it; take small actions to construct meaning for oneself and this will help you feel better
- When you come across an unimaginable global concept, talking about it locally can help make connections, and increase the feeling of having an effect
- Focus on our human commonalities/common ground
- Recognize that people generally resist change, unless they feel the need for change

Generational Differences
Baby boomers are more active in the NW; in general, this part of the country is more aware and progressive

There is a natural cycle:
20’s – want to change the world; feel strongly about what is right and ethical
30’s – different priorities (career, family)
40’s – not greatly interested in external issues
50’s – interest in doing something to help change the world

Best,
Ellia